


leave it all behind

by mouseratstan



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Post-Break Up, Taylor Swift - Freeform, happiness by taylor swift, post-episode: 6x02 california part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28401348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouseratstan/pseuds/mouseratstan
Summary: Post 6x02 California Part Two.Jonah copes with the break-up and finding out where to go from here.
Relationships: Amy Dubanowski/Jonah Simms, Amy Sosa/Jonah Simms
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	leave it all behind

The hardest part isn't giving the ring back, it's walking home alone.

It's curling his flannel sleeves tighter to his chest and shivering in the night, empty handed, watching as her headlights get smaller and dimmer with distance. It's the parking lot clearing and the sad smiles his coworkers give him— it's the claps on the back and the avoidance of her name and that goddamn word that keeps coming back to haunt him.

_ California. _

Jonah is fine. He’s  _ fine,  _ really. He doesn't want to go to California anyway. It's pretentious Florida. It's too sunny, maybe, or too crowded. The living prices are insane and finding a job in that market would be too intense. It doesn't suit him like it suits Amy.

Because the truth is, she's outgrown him.

It's what he thinks about as he's picking up his things from her house, avoiding her eye, packing his bags to god knows where. It's what he  _ knows  _ when he returns his flight ticket and brightens at the idea of a refund, because his bank account could really use it. He no longer fits by Amy’s side. He's no longer the missing piece in the puzzle of her life, the thing keeping her going, the person she looks  _ right  _ next to. No, because she's in a blazer on a flight to her corporate job in California and he's sleeping in his car, just for the night, just because he can't face reality yet and he doesn't want to have to ask Garrett if he can move back in. He's got nowhere to go, he's barely staying on his feet, and it's already enough that everybody’s pointed out that  _ Amy  _ was the only thing keeping him alive. She just didn't need him like he needed her.

He tries to find a comfortable spot in his back seat, staring out the opposite window out to the stars. It's just his luck that they're so bright tonight, as if the universe is mocking him, reminding him of what he's lost, and it's not quite the  _ moment of beauty  _ he imagined tonight would be. But he still can't cry, because it's too easy to imagine her here. Shoving him aside, resting her face on his chest, teasing him  _ (“God, Jonah, how heavily do you breathe?”)  _ all in good fun, until she falls asleep with a smile on her face and he watches her underneath the stars.

_ You're the best thing that ever happened to me. _

He doesn't even approach Garrett about moving back in with him. He can sometimes be a prideful man, but above all, he aims to keep his hurt inside him, to not wear his heart on his sleeve this time around, to show he's fine against all odds. He puts on a brave face and he walks into work with his hair not as perfect as usual and bags under his eyes and Garrett stops him before he can get far.

“Dude, just come back,” he says, looking exasperated. It's the closest Garrett comes to showing how much he cares. “You're down detrimentally bad.”

“I can’t… I don't wanna have to put you out like that—”

“You're putting me out even more by showing up to work in musty clothes looking like a hot mess. You're coming back to my place.”

He doesn't take no for an answer. So Jonah accepts, but it doesn't mean he'll talk about it. It means he’ll smile when he has to and he’ll do his job and make small talk, and at the end of the day he’ll close and lock his bedroom door and put in his headphones and drown out his sorrows until he passes out.

Garrett doesn't knock. It would be unlike him to.

He rolls and rolls in his sleep and it takes him a long time to realize it's because the bed is too big and he is much, much too small. There's all this extra room here to stretch out his arms, to reach towards just to grab a hold of nothing at all. He hugs his pillow and he stares at the empty space and he tries not to cry. He's better off this way. They were moving in different directions. It just wasn't meant to be.

_ I love you, blah blah blah blah. _

He buys a twin bed the very next night. He moves it into his room and Garrett doesn't say a thing, just watches him assemble the frame with pity in his eyes. But Jonah needs this. He needs a bed for one person because he can't handle the empty space anymore. He can't handle all this extra room in his life that was reserved just for Amy, not when she's gone now and there's no getting her back and he's not even sure who he is anymore without her, not sure when he’ll meet the new Jonah, not sure what to do with all this hurt in his heart.

The first step is a twin bed. 

_ I don't really need to say goodbye, so I’ll just say… _

He breathes, the sob catching in his throat, and he shuts off the lights before it can get worse. He curls up in bed and his fingers stretch out for her, a force of habit, meeting the end of the bed, the end of the road, the end of everything. He shuts her out of his brain and pushes away the sound of her voice and the look in her eyes as he walked out the door— and he leaves it all behind.

_ See you in California. _


End file.
